It is what it is…

Some issues seem to come up over and over again.  I’ve been talking with friends and each one of them, to include myself, express wishfulness over the past.  We wish something or other had happened differently, or that we could undo some event, or exchange what we have had happen, replaying situation or event in our heads until it either drives us crazy or wears us out.  We act like dogs with a good bone, working old angles for new outcomes.  But, the situations and experiences that we are obsessing over, are in the past.  No amount of thinking or rethinking, on an event that is over, will ever change what has already happened.  What is… is.  I don’t have Mr. Peabody’s ‘way way back machine’ (if you do, please contact me for a completely different conversation) and I can’t undo anything that has already occurred.  The obsessive thinking is like trying to move forward while all your attention in focused backwards, dangerous and foolhardy.  If we can get clear on the fact that ‘it is what it is,’ our job then becomes about, what did I learn, what clarity do I need in order to move forward and not reincarnate this issue at the next opportunity?  The best and most important part of looking at the past is to figure out how to live the future better.  What did I learn about my reactions/responses, other peoples reactions/responses, what worked, what didn’t, what could I do differently next time, to get a different result.  I often ask myself:  “What have I done in the past that worked better, how might I have used that information this time for a better result and how will I use it the next time a similar situation comes up?”

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